


Fridge Raid

by Kiraly



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Bonding, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 15:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11383005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiraly/pseuds/Kiraly
Summary: There's only one problem with raiding the fridge at skaters' training camp: everything is health food. Otabek, Yuri, and JJ find a way to make it interesting anyway.





	Fridge Raid

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for this week's [Synchronised Screaming](https://synchronisedscreaming.tumblr.com/) Flash Fiction Challenge on Tumblr. The prompt was "Otabek/Yuri - fridge" and okay, it was my prompt because my buddy Idleleaves and I have been laughing about [this Tumblr post](http://worldsentwined.tumblr.com/post/162399821849/cicada-queen-messy-piece-of-a-series-that-i-did) for the last three days. I also got inspired by a conversation in the SynS chat about how JJ just DOES NOT pick up on social cues - he might be obnoxious, but he probably isn't doing it on purpose. 
> 
> Anyway, this is some kind of weird AU in which all three of them are teenagers attending one of Yakov's summer training camps at the same time, and Otabek and Yuri have become friends before the events of canon. Basically I just wanted an excuse for them to all be irresponsible teenage boys making dubious food decisions.

“Do you think all of this will fit in the blender?”

Otabek eyes the contents of the counter. “Umm. We might have to do a couple of batches.”

At this time of night, the communal kitchen is quiet. Responsible young skaters go to bed early, so they can be well-rested for another gruelling round of Yakov’s training camp in the morning. Luckily, Yuri and Otabek aren’t responsible. Or at least, Yuri isn’t, and he can usually convince Otabek to go along with his schemes. Especially when they involve late-night snacks.

“I still can’t believe they don’t have any pomegranate juice,” Yuri grumbles. “What kind of kitchen is this?” He tosses a handful of spinach into the blender and frowns like it offends him.

Otabek shrugs and offers him a beet. “This might get some of the color, at least?”

Yuri makes a face, but he drops the beet in too. “What else? Protein.” He splashes some milk in, along with a handful of ground almonds. Or at least, they’re almonds that have been more or less pounded into small enough chunks that they won’t choke anyone. Otabek likes almond milk, but they don’t have that, either, so Yuri had to improvise. “Do you think we should blend it now and see what happens?”

Otabek adds a pile of chopped celery and sprinkles some cinnamon in, then nods. The blender makes an unholy noise when they turn it on, but it slowly turns the mess of ingredients into...well, a mess. Yuri turns it off and prods the green-brown concoction with a spoon. “This looks like shit.”

“I dare you to eat it,” Otabek says. He’s already assembling ingredients for the next round—Yuri can see carrots, tabasco sauce, and peanut butter in the lineup.

“Only if you eat it too!” Yuri says. “And isn’t this supposed to be juice? Maybe we should blend it more.”

“Hmm.” Otabek shakes the blender. “No, I think it’s done.” He takes two glasses and sets them side by side on the counter. The smoothies fill them almost to the top; the mixture doesn’t look any more appetizing in a smaller container. Otabek offers one glass to Yuri and takes the other. “Ready?”

Yuri makes the mistake of smelling it and almost gags. “Ugh.”

“Last one to finish takes bronze,” Otabek says, and his eyes crinkle at the corner. “You don’t want to be last, do you Yura?”

“FUCK no!” Yuri holds his breath and gulps his drink down. Otabek does the same, and they both slam their empty glasses down at the same time. “Blech!” Yuri spits into the sink—his saliva is the color of fresh beets. “Gross, Beka! And that was a dirty trick, anyway. I can’t get  _ bronze  _ if there’s only two of us!”

“Oh?” Otabek stops in the middle of rinsing out the blender. “Should we get a third person, then?”

Yuri glares at him. “No. Wait. No, Beka, hell no, don’t tell me you—”

“Did someone say SMOOTHIES?”

Yuri’s face freezes in a snarl. Otabek smiles. “Hey, JJ. Glad you could make it.”

JJ strolls into the kitchen, looking like he’s just come back from a night on the town. Everyone knows he’s spent the last three evenings with his girlfriend, who’s in town for a visit. In Yuri’s opinion, this makes him even more unbearable than usual.

“Of course! Nobody knows smoothies like JJ does.” He flashes his signature double-J finger sign, and only Otabek’s hand on his shoulder keeps Yuri from making a different gesture in return. JJ, completely oblivious, holds up a grocery bag. “And I brought more ingredients! Where should I put them? I have orange juice, bananas, grapes—”

Yuri glares daggers at both of them. “Tell him where he can put his grapes, Otabek.” He can’t understand  _ why  _ his best friend wants to hang out with  _ JJ Leroy _ of all people. The guy is just begging to be kicked in the face, and Yuri can kick  _ really  _ high. Otabek just doesn’t seem to understand.

“In the fridge,” Otabek says, either not noticing or ignoring Yuri’s mood. “I think we have enough for now. Come on, Yura, help me load the blender.”

Otabek also ignores Yuri’s subsequent grumbling— _ ”in the fridge, that’s NOT what I meant”— _ and his suggestion that JJ should have to drink an extra portion of the new batch of smoothie, since he wasn’t there for the first one. At least there’s less to go around between the three of them—this one tastes even worse than the first. 

“Wow,” JJ says, when he’s choked down the last of the concoction, “That was awful. Why didn’t we put something good in there?”

“Have you seen the contents of this fridge?” Yuri demands, pulling the door open. “It’s full of skater training diet food, there  _ is  _ nothing good. And we’re out of pomegranate juice.” That was the whole reason they’d started making smoothies in the first place; Otabek had suggested it as an alternative, when the kitchen couldn’t meet Yuri’s juice craving. 

“Well,  _ I  _ wanted to put grapes in it,” JJ says. “Maybe for the next round?”

Yuri and Otabek exchange glances. “Next round?” Yuri’s stomach churns. Still, he’ll be damned if he lets JJ out-drink him. “You’re on.”

An hour later, the three of them are slumped over the counter. It’s slightly sticky—there was an incident with a loose blender lid, and they’re still not sure how they’ll clean the ceiling. To top it off, all three of them are in varying states of digestive distress. Although none of them said so, it seems to be an unspoken rule that the first one to need a bathroom loses, and all of them are too competitive to let that happen. It probably won’t end well, Yuri thinks. But he’s too queasy to care.

And somehow, JJ is  _ still  _ talking about the damn grapes. “They’re just the perfect fruit, you know? Bite-sized. Economical. Not too sweet, not too sour—”

“If you don’t shut the hell up about those grapes,” Yuri says, raising his head slightly, “Your girlfriend is going to get jealous and leave you.”

JJ straightens in indignation, then doubles over again to clutch his stomach. “She won’t! She loves the JJ too much.” He sighs and plucks a grape from the bag, turning it back and forth to catch the light. “Everyone loves the JJ. Even grapes do. I wonder how many I can fit in my mouth at once?”

“JJ.” Otabek props himself up just enough to look at him. “What Yuri means is, stop talking about grapes or he’ll force-feed you the rest of the bag.” The smoothies must  _ really  _ not be agreeing with him, because he adds, “And I’ll help.”

JJ laughs. “Wow, you two are hilarious! Why don’t we all hang out more?” When neither of them answer, he apparently takes the silence as encouragement. “After all, we’re having such a  _ grape  _ time! Smoothies are always better when they’re JJ style.” He grins and makes the “JJ” sign with his fingers again.

Yuri locks eyes with Otabek. “Right. That’s enough. You hold him, I’ll get the grapes.”

As it turns out, JJ can fit quite a lot of grapes in his mouth at once. It also turns out that once he hits his limit, he can launch them an incredible distance. They get so caught up in testing this newfound talent that they don’t realize Yakov has entered the kitchen until he erupts.

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?” The laughter dies, replaced by guilty expressions. Before they can think up an excuse—not that there’s any good explanation for why JJ has just spit a grape into a coffee mug on the other side of the room—Yakov covers his eyes and turns away. “No. Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. Clean this up and go to bed.” On his way out the door, he adds, “And be at the rink an hour early tomorrow. Apparently you have so much energy, you want to practice more.”

Cleanup is a quiet affair. It’s getting late enough that even irresponsible skaters should probably be asleep, and the extra early wakeup call won’t be fun for any of them. Still, despite his nausea and the continued lack of pomegranate juice, Yuri finds himself smiling as he leans against Otabek and watches JJ stand on the counter to scrub smoothie off the ceiling. This whole thing was probably a dumb idea, but he kind of enjoyed himself.

**Author's Note:**

> The author does NOT condone force-feeding your friends. Or your enemies. Or anyone, even if it is late at night and seems like a funny idea. Also please use blenders responsibly.


End file.
